A note about what this blog is and isn't

I'm trying to "figure out college admissions" with my oldest kid.

This blog is not an inside-baseball account of how the admissions process works... it's about advice for how to address the whole college admissions process, from an external perspective. There are a number of lessons I'm learning the hard way as I go through this process; I'm sharing them here.

Visiting colleges (part 3) - Where to go

• Where to go: multiple colleges per day. At the risk of sounding like a glutton for punishment, it's worth going to at least two colleges per day to get the comparative opinions flowing.
  
  It's not "easy" to do this, it can be a little overwhelming to see College A in the morning and College B in the afternoon. But it forces the student to start thinking about what they liked more at College A. Unless the student knows in advance exactly what he/she wants, this will be very useful.
  
  It's probably worth going to at least one aspirational school and one safety school, as well as multiple schools the student expects to be able to get into. Urban/rural, large/small, homogenous/diverse, artsy/techie -- it's worth exploring all of these dimensions. The results can be surprising.
  
  In our case, my daughter realized something she didn't know in advance: she didn't want to go to a school that was small or rural or homogenous.
  
  
• How to go: map out the trip. Google maps makes it very easy to create personalized maps.
  
  For instance, I created "Top Liberal Arts Colleges in the NE" to figure out the locations of about 30 top colleges, which then helped us figure out what was desirable and what was feasible.
  
  I made the map open for collaboration, so anyone can view it as an example or to add to it. To find it, click here or go to Google Maps, click on My Maps in the upper left, and "Browse the directory."
  
  

Visiting colleges (part 2) - who should go

This is a slightly tricky one. After all, it's a trip, possibly to a far-off place, fun for the whole family, right? Er, no.

• Who should go: as few people as possible. The real point is for the student to figure out what makes sense for them. Parents are only chauffeurs and tag-alongs and sounding boards. If more than one parent goes, they inevitably start sharing their impressions with each other -- and influencing the student. I found my daughter quite sensitive to my opinions, to the point where I had to make an effort to keep them to myself. After all, it's going to be her college, not mine.
  
  During this trip, the student has to be self-centered. That's the whole point -- he or she is working toward a very big step of self-identification. "Who do you want to be?"
  
  And as self-centered as teenagers may be in some ways, getting them to think in a mature way about their future -- and where they want to go to college, which may well be the biggest decision they've had to make -- is hard enough without distractions. After all, they're going to be going to college without the family. They need to start thinking of it that way, envisioning themselves on the campus without their family support structure.
  
  Moreover, it's a "work" trip, and should be seen in that light.
  
  Therefore, leave siblings home, if feasible. A sibling, particularly one that's more than a couple years younger, will interfere with the college-applyer's efforts at self-discovery. We saw several younger siblings in college information sessions, and they were always fidgeting.
  
  Two parents might make it work, by having one parent take the younger child or children off doing touristy things while the older one visits the college. However, that might limit the flexibility of the college-applyer to get around, having to cooperate with siblings who have a tourist agenda.
  
  Also, the parent who does go (assuming the student doesn't drive himself) needs to keep their mouth shut, mostly.
  
  
• Where to go: multiple colleges per day. At the risk of sounding like a glutton for punishment, it's worth going to at least two colleges per day to get the comparative opinions flowing.
  
  It's probably worth going to at least one aspirational school and one safety school, as well as multiple schools the student expects to be able to get into. Urban/rural, large/small, homogenous/diverse, artsy/techie -- it's worth exploring all of these dimensions. The results can be surprising.
  
  In our case, my daughter realized she didn't want to go to a small school or a rural one.
  
  And as the college process gets more (seemingly) random, it's worth applying to several schools because you can never be completely sure where you'll get in.
  
  

Visiting colleges (part 1) - when to go

I took a great college-visiting trip with my daughter last year. (She was a Junior.) We saw about 12 colleges in four days of driving from Rhode Island to Washington, D.C. It was a wonderful, eye-opening time. She had gone to a couple college fairs, but there was no substitute for seeing the schools live.

Here (and in subsequent posts) are several lessons I learned...

• When to go: Junior year... or maybe even earlier. Visiting colleges and talking to students there changed the concept of college from hypothetical to very real, and desirable. Not only did my daughter start getting some ideas about where she'd like to go to college and (maybe) what she'd like to do at college and beyond, but also she learned for herself why grades matter re college.
  
  Since then, I've decided that I'll take my younger daughter to visit at least one college this year, when she's a Sophomore -- to give her some idea of what college is about, early on.
  
  
• When to go: when the college is in session. This is obvious, right? The students at the college, and the professors and courses being taught, are essential parts of the experience.
  
  Unfortunately there's a large overlap between regular high-school calendars and college calendars. We were able to go during spring break (April).
  
  It's easy to check colleges' calendars online, to see where there are times without overlap.
  
  It's also worth checking whether colleges will be fully focussed on pre-applicants when you go. April is a slightly tough time -- when we went, some of the colleges were catering to high-school Seniors they had admitted who hadn't yet decided whether to accept admission.
  
  I would guess August is similarly an odd time for colleges since students are only just getting into the swing of things -- it may be difficult to line up tours and stay-overs and class visits. And many colleges have long breaks in December, and exams in January.
  
  
• How long to go: Seeing 2 or even 3 colleges in a day is doable, even preferable (more on this later). Road time between colleges gives the student a chance to marshal his/her thoughts.